


Loki - The last to know

by littlemissdeath



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Family Secrets, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Loki Needs a Hug, M/M, Thor Feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-16
Updated: 2016-01-16
Packaged: 2018-05-14 09:31:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5738512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlemissdeath/pseuds/littlemissdeath
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Poor Loki just found out he's not of Asgard, but finds it hurts him more that everyone is keeping it a secret. Loki/Thor angst/UST.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Loki - The last to know

Loki sat in the snow in the mountains above Asgard. He wasn't shaking because he was cold, he was shaking cause he was upset. His tears tricked down and he wiped them away, they just kept coming. Loki had just found out he was from Jotunheim. He was so conflicted. Up until a few hours ago, he used to call Frigga Mother, Thor brother, and Odin... that man who started the lie, used to be his father.

All these years everyone had acted though he belonged. But there was never 100% cohesion. There was always something that Loki couldn't put his finger on, but clearly now he understood. He was just abducted and deceived to live here. He thought about the hurtful words Odin used...

_______  
The palace that morning.

Loki and Thor were sitting on the balcony and watching the others spar. "Magic is not always the answer." Thor said.

"Come on, even you can see its benefits. How many times has my magic saved you, let alone myself?" Loki nudged Thor with his shoulder.

"I cannot use it, I never learnt." Thor dismissed the idea. Loki leaned in and whispered.

"Thor, there are things in our vault that you could wield that have magic you don't need to be inherently magical." Loki encouraged him. They looked at each other and then raced together down the halls. Everything was a competition.

"Bet I can beat you brother!" Thor shouted.

"You can't cheat and use Mjolir!" Loki over took him with a big open smile. They jostled and bumped each other playfully as they ran down to the weapon vault. As they got there they caught their breath. Loki directed the guards to wait outside and the two went in smiling.

They wandered through picking up and feeling how each weapon moved. Thor walked over to a blue casket in the corner, he went to pick up the box. He dropped it on the floor and suddenly as he yelled, frost bite to his hands. Loki ran over and ran his hands over Thor's, healing them in a warm glow.

Thor rubbed his hands and walked over to the over weapons leaving the casket on the floor.

"Thanks Loki." Thor said. "That seams a stupid weapon a box that you cannot wield as it is too cold to touch." Thor turned back to see Loki stop dead in his tracks. He was holding the casket before he heard Thor say not to touch it. "Loki?"

"Thor, what is happening?" Loki had a slight panic in his voice. He put the casket on the pedestal and watch the colour return to his hands. Thor didn't seem shocked.

"It's ok, it's probably cause you are magical it doesn't hurt you like it did to me." Thor put his arm around Loki to lead him out. They looked up and saw Odin at the top of the stairs.

"What are you two doing in here?" He boomed as he walked down towards them, "You think these are toys for you to play with?" Odin looked down at Loki's blue hands. Loki could tell that Odin knew what was happening to him.

"Father." He held up his hands which had now turned back. "What was that?"

"You touched the casket of winters; the source of the frost giant's power."

"But why did it hurt Thor and not me?" Loki looked confused, more so when he looked at Thor and the dim witted oaf actually looked like he knew what Odin was on about. Thor looked up at Odin then started to walk away from Loki.

Odin moved closer cautiously. "Loki you share power with the casket, which is why it doesn't hurt you."

He took a step back, holding his hands, "No, there is something you are not telling me." Loki got defensive. "Why do I turn blue? It's the same colour as..." Loki trailed off, he knew.. then sobbed "Frost Giants." Loki turned and looked at the casket, then swiftly back at Odin. His demeanour changed and he was like a dog that was cornered, ready to fight "I thought I was your son?"

"You are my son." Odin said calmly.

"No. No, what did.." Loki couldn't articulate his questions, there were so many, "am I the result of you mating with a giantess?"

"No." Odin didn't elaborate.

Tears rolled down Loki's cheeks. He was so choked up he muttered "So what am I?" He looked up at Odin pleading "Tell me!"

"You were an abandoned baby, possibly because you were small."

"What?" he softy gasped.

"But I raised you as my own. As a brother to Thor."

Loki shook his head, he wanted no part of this. He ran out of the vault casting a spell to turn invisible. Thor stood next to Odin. "Go to him Thor, he will need your support." Thor nodded and followed Loki out.

_____

Loki picked up the snow in his hands, he did not feel the cold. He cried then grew angry. He stood up and cast a powerful flame spell, moving his hands like a flamethrower and melting all the snow in proximity to him. He stopped and saw Thor land just near him.

Thor looked around at the green grass, some parts were smouldering where the spell was concentrated. The pine trees were a mix of snow and fire. He tried to lighten the mood, "You know if your magic burns the grass, you have cut back on the heat!"

"I'm not interested in your bad jokes, Thor Odinson." He said his name with such distain.

"Loki, I don't hate you for not really being my brother." Thor put his arm around him.

"Thor, all their love was fake! I was never their son!" Loki pushed back to see Thor's face but didn't break the hug. He then joked "well I guess it was also a lie that I would be king of Asgard too? Huh?"

Thor brushed a tear away from Loki's face and stroked his hair. "Maybe, when I'm king of Asgard, you could be king of Jotunheim?" Thor said softly. They smiled weakly. "Loki, I love you. It doesn't matter that you never really my brother, I still loved you, you know that I always have loved you."

Loki smiled then stopped and let go of Thor and stood back. "What? What did you say?" he asked quietly.

"Huh?" Thor thought he just didn't hear him, rather than miss heard.

"You said, 'still loved'? And Thor, why were you so calm at what Odin said to me.." Loki grew dangerously calm.

"I don't know what you are talking about." Thor ,moved back as he saw Loki ready his hands to cast.

Loki lowered his hands and then looked away in disbelief at the ground. "You, you.." Loki stared up at him. "knew..?"

They stood silently for a moment. Loki walked towards Thor. "How long have you known?"

"Our Father told me.." Thor kept stepping back.

"He's not my father!" Loki shouted and blasted a tree near Thor with a bolt of flame.

"I found out when we were small!" Thor blurted out. "I was playing with you and you fell into a river, I tried to rescue you but it was me who got sick. He told me you were different and I had to protect you from others." Thor reached out to Loki. "It started out as being your protector but I grew to love you more. I always have."

"No! I don't want to hear it!" Loki turned away. Then charged at Thor hitting him on the chest. "Why didn't anyone tell me?" Thor grabbed his wrists. "You knew! You knew and you never told me?" He was very aggressive towards Thor.

Thor let him go. Loki began to breathe heavy, then became measured in his tone "Does anyone else know?" Loki stood his ground. "Or does the whole kingdom know?" Thor didn't respond. "Why is it that the one person who this secret concerns, is the last to know?!" Loki slumped down on to the ground.

Thor sat down and held Loki tightly in a firm embrace. "It doesn't matter, I'm still by your side."

"Like that matters." Loki sniffed.

_____

Thor landed on the balcony near the throne room. Loki slowly let go of his shoulders and put the weight down on to the ground. He looked down then looked around to see if anyone has seen them land, let alone embracing.

Thor did his best reassuring look and smiled at Loki. Loki walked over to the balcony behind the pillars and Thor started to feel bad, rejected, even. He yelled and upturned the large table, sending food and silverware crashing over the floor.

The warriors three and Sif came in to all the commotion and Volstagg commented on the wasted food. It didn't stop him picking it up off the ground to make a sandwich. Thor was fuming. Loki knew he could calm the situation, even though he was the one that had more right to be angry. He sat down sheepishly and Thor smiled slightly. He nudged him with his thigh in a playful way. Loki just sat cautiously.

"I need a good fight to make me feel better!" Thor stood up at the base of the steps. Loki looked up at him.

"No, no, I know that look." Loki softly said.

"We shall go to the Bifrost and travel to Jotunheim!" Thor shouted and the warriors all cheered. They were looking for a good battle themselves. Fandral pulled out his sword and stabbed a roast pig.

"We shall slay some Frost Giant scum!" They all cheered and Thor fell silent. What had he done. Had he forgotten so soon? Loki felt his heart rip from his chest as he couldn't hold back the tears. He turned and walked away as quickly as he could so the others could not see.

"Loki!" Sif called out. "Are you going to ready the horses?" Loki stopped with his back turned. He couldn't tell them, neither could Thor. He raised his hand and as he passed Thor he patted his shoulder, still keeping his back to the others.

"He will be there by my side!" Thor shouted uneasy. He looked down at Loki and tried to be forgiving, but he could see that he may have to now watch his back on Jotunheim. Loki shrugged off Thor's hand and knew he wouldn't have a choice now.

The six rode across the Bifrost to the observatory. They demounted and walked over to Heimdall. Thor loudly announced their plans. "Heimdall open the Bifrost to Jotunheim!"

He groaned and watched as the excided warriors bounded past him to the gate room. Except Loki. He had seen what had transpired and he was deeply concerned that Loki was going, more so that Thor had put him in this predicament. He grabbed Thor's arm and let Loki walk out of earshot.

"What do you think you are playing at?" Heimdall demanded.

"Get your hands of me! I am a prince!" Thor smacked his hand away.

"You are not acting as Odin would want you to." Heimdall said, trying not to offend Thor. "I merely disapprove of your lack of thought went it comes to Loki."

"What would you know?" Thor folded his arms and began to act like a brat. "I love him and would never let him get hurt. We are all coming back from Jotunheim alive."

"Thor, just take a moment to look at him, then don't tell me your answer, just act." Heimdall walked towards the centre of the room. Thor stayed outside and watched everyone inside. The warriors was all jovial but Loki was standing off to the side, head down, clearly depressed. Sif waved at Thor to hurry up as Heimdall plunged his sword into the machine. He ran over and faked a smile to the others.

Out of all the room, he chose to stand shoulder to shoulder with Loki. Loki looked up at him then they were engulf in light and transported to Jotunheim. It was cold and they all could see their breath and shivered. Hogun looked over at Loki who seemed surprisingly at ease in the cold. "Loki, can you expand your warmth spell to me?" Hogun rubbed his body exadurating the cold.

Loki looked up and realised he was not affected but had to cover his 'heritage'. "Sorry Hogun, it's not really an incantation that can be put on another, sorry!" he said politely. The group wandered through the old crumbling structures. No sign of the enemy. They had been walking for about 10 minutes before they thought they saw signs of life. Hogun stopped and something caught his eye. He looked up and the top of the building and saw a frost giant pull back into the shadows.

"You are far from home Odinson." The king of the frost giants appeared on a high window looking down at them.

"I can go where I please!" Thor taunted. Loki didn't want to play and he turned his back slightly and put his hand on Thor, slipping it under his bicep.

"Please Thor, don't do this." He said softly.

"I will give you this chance to leave Odinson, or you will not live to regret it!" Laufey conjured an ice flow and rode it down to meet Thor. He glanced down at Loki and saw the fear building. "You have lead your friends to their doom." He saw the tears building in Loki's eyes. He didn't know they were because he was now confronting his birth father.

Loki pulled Thor's arm. "We accept your gracious offer and will leave immediately." Loki moved away from Thor, still pulling at his arm. Thor eventually turned and followed Loki.

"If you do want to stay, I can make sure Odin is devoid of any of his little princesses." Laufey laughed. Loki knew that it was on.

"Crap." He muttered.

Thor spun around and threw Mjolnir at Laufey, knocking him off his feet. The other warriors began to draw their weapons and start to fight the frost giants as they came out of the shadows. Thor smiled wildly as he smashed one after the other. Loki fought but did not kill any of the giants, he couldn't bring himself to do it. He began separated and was pursued by a giant to a cliff.

Loki looked down then cast a spell. The giant dove through his apparition over the edge and Loki smiled and cleared his illusion. He headed back down the passageway to the sound of the fighting. As he turned a corner he stoped startled. Laufey was in front of him.

"Ah Loki isn't it?" he towered over him. Loki didn't know why he wasn't bigger, maybe it was growing up on Asgard. "You are Odin's youngest, and as you aren't able to weld Mjolnir, I guess you are his little runt."

Loki swallow, he didn't want to fight him. But Laufey wasn't helping his case by picking on Loki. Loki clenched his fist and was about to cast a flame spell when Laufey grabbed his arm. Loki struggled, he wasn't getting free. The powerful hand began to disintegrate the armguards and his clothes. Laufey was now holding Loki's bare arm and it began to turn blue.

Laufey stopped and released his grip. Staring at the arm. The colour remained for while and then receded. "What are you boy?"

Loki stepped back and stared at his arm. He knew he was different, but it still shocked him. "I don't know", he cried. He slumped down to the snow covered floor and held his wrist with his other hand, softly rubbing it.

Laufey walked back and sat down, just watching Loki. "I can't put my finger on it.. but you..." He saw this crumpled heap in the snow. Not affected by the cold in the slightest. Something had upset him and he began to think it wasn't the fear of death or capture at his hands. "Loki Odinson." Loki scrunched up his nose in distain. He moved towards him. He squatted down and picked him up by his arms, forcing him to stand. "Why did you not respond to your name? You are not Odin's favourite?"

"Leave me alone." Loki whispered. Laufey grabbed Loki with both hands and projected his magic. Loki's eyes burned red and his skin went a dark blue. Laufey smiled cruelly.

"Ah so that's who you are." Loki stood there blue and still sobbing. The raised marks on his skin were a fingerprint to his name. "You are not Odin's runt, you are mine."

Loki began to cry loudly, he was rejected by all. "Thor!"

"He won't help you, he has no reason to, he is not your blood." Laufey began to roughly manhandle Loki. "Why are you so upset? Ah, you were never told what Odin did." Laufey threw him down in the snow.

"Leave him alone!" Thor shouted. He stood angry in the door and had Mjolnir at the ready. Loki looked up in shock but a smile grew. Thor did care. "I will destroy you and your realm if you lay a finger on him!" Thor moved overed to Loki and helped him to his feet. Loki grabbed the back of Thor's cape and held tight.

"Thor, I.." Loki wanted to thank him, but still he was only in this situation cause Thor acted before he thought.

"Loki lets go." Thor spun his hammer and wrapped his hand tightly around Loki's waist. He shot up and flew to the others. He landed in a cloud of snow. "Heimdall! Open the Bifrost!" The warriors backed into a circle weapons poised for the encroaching enemy. Then the light engulfed them and pulled them back to Asgard.

They started to congratulate themself for fighting so well as they walked through the observatory. Loki stopped and looked back into space. Longing for something. Thor still holding him firmly. He dropped Mjolnir with a thud and held Loki with both arms. The warriors and Sif turned to the sound of Thor's hammer. Seeing this strange sight. Well a sight of them embracing, may have been common when they were much younger. Loki would get hurt and Thor would step in and protect him.

Thor stroked Loki's hair and kissed his forehead. Loki buried his face in Thor's neck and cried. The warriors looked at each other puzzled. Then they saw him lift his head and cry out, "Laufey never wanted me either!"

Sif turned to Heimdall. "What is he on about? King Laufey? What was Loki doing?"

Heimdall groaned. "It is not for me to comment. Odin has to keep peace in the realm and Thor and Loki may have just caused a war." Sif was now more confused. "I think you should just leave them be and not discuss this without approval from the All-Father." Sif and the warriors respected Heimdall.

"Loki, do you want to be left alone?" Thor asked him. Loki shook his head. Heimdall withdrew his sword and walked back to his post. "Loki, please, what happened?"

"Thor, where do I belong?" Loki knew Thor couldn't answer that. He let go of him and walked over and folded his arms, looking out to space. "I can't ever be king of Asgard, and definitely not of Jotunheim." Loki looked over to Thor. "I think I need to be somewhere else, where I can think about this." He looked over at Heimdall and was about to open the Bifrost to go somewhere far from here.

Thor ran over to him. "No" He kissed him, catching him off guard. "You will stay here with me."

"I can't believe it. I hated Odin for saying that he raised me as his son when he found me abandoned. I though he just said that I was abandoned to make me rely on him, but I thought I was abducted for his plans." Loki sniffed and held Thor's forearms. "But when Laufey said he didn't want me and Odin saved me, then.." His eyes welled up and he started to cry into Thor's chest.

He slumped down and Thor slowed his fall to his knees. "Loki, who cares what either man thought of you. You are here and with me. I will protect you." He held Loki's face gently with both hands. Then softly kissed his lips. "I love you".

"Thor, I can't do this." Loki cast a spell and disappeared.

"Crap!" Thor stood suddenly and looked around the room, but he had no way of tracking him when he did this. Heimdall walked over to Thor.

"Thor, if he wants to be found he will let you find him. But I think you have bigger issues to worry about."

"No I need to find him now, where did he go?"

"I cannot see him, he has mastered spells to even block my vision. Just like when he went to the mountains."

Thor paused, oh, Heimdall sees everything, even seen them have an intimate moment for the first time. Thor was relived, but he kind of figured that Heimdall didn't need to see everything to know what was going on between them. After all, Thor just kissed Loki in front of him.

"Thor, go to the All-Father, he is waiting for you." Thor filled with dread. He knew he was in trouble.

___

Loki walked into his room and gathered a few things. He changed his cloths and grabbed a small bag. He put in a few small magical items and re-cloaked himself.

Thor stood head bowed and knelling in front of Odin. "Thor, why did you feel compelled to start a war with the Frost Giants?

"You know why." Thor tried not to be too defiant.

"No, I don't. You take Loki and force him to confront his biological father, you knew he wouldn't take that well. As case is person, where is Loki?"

Thor looked up at Odin. "I don't know he ..."

Odin cut him off, "What became upset, enraged, confused at that fact Lafrey knows his unwanted child survived?" Thor stayed silent. Odin stood up and pointed Gungnir at Thor and struck him. "Foolish boy!" Thor fell back and grew angry, but knew he could never overpower Odin. "Loki needs to be kept calm and happy, he is too powerful to let loose!"

"How is that my fault!" Thor stood defiantly to his feet. He was starting to understand what Loki was feeling. "You lied to him all these years!"

"For good reason!" Odin struck Thor again. "You have failed in your duty to Asgard, you failed in your duty to protect the 9 realms, you have failed to protect your brother."

"He doesn't think he is my brother anymore! And you are the only one to blame for that!" Thor began to swing Mjolnir and Odin willed it from him. Odin held the hammer and walked closer to Thor, now unarmed and knew he was about to fight.

Loki stood in the shadows watching. He wanted to intervene like Thor did for him against his own father, but he knew he was not strong enough. He snuck away to the vault to leave Thor to his punishment. Loki convinced himself that he deserved to suffer for his part in this deception.

Loki walked past the guards cloaked. He went straight for the casket of winters and held his hands over it. The casket disappeared and Loki walked out of the vault. He needed to focus of his next plan. He decided he would walk to the Bifrost. It would take him a while, then he would know he would be sure of his next move.

Loki walked the rainbow bridge slowly, playing out scenarios and reliving the hurt and experiences. He analysed all aspects of his life, thinking about how they treated him before he knew he was not family. He remembered times that he thought were good and critically pulled apart the words Odin would say to him and Thor. He thought about how they could be king, but everything favoured Thor.

Frigga was the only one who cared for him, but it seemed like pity now. Thor was the favourite and Loki just decided that she only humoured him cause he had nothing. He remembered Thor still had her love more than him. As Loki's anger grew, he turned blue as he walked. He began more purposeful in his walk. He began to stride strong and faster as he approached the Bifrost.

He saw Heimdall standing in front of the entrance to the observatory. Sword ready.

"I suggest you leave gatekeeper!" Loki was focused on getting past him. Heimdall drew his sword and pointed it to Loki's throat.

"No. I can't let you past."

"You don't have a choice." Loki moved his hands across his midsection and the casket of winters appeared and Loki directed an ice flow at Heimdall. He became frozen and then Loki 'sheathed' the casket and walked past the frozen man.

Back in the palace Odin stopped suddenly and looked up. Thor knew he had sensed something but didn't know what. "Loki." Odin uttered.

Loki held out his arms outstretched and cast a powerful ice spell at the Bifrost consol. A tree of ice formed in the room and the Bifrost began to glow. The beam moved and pointed to Jotunheim. It started to build and Loki could feel the vibration through the floor as the energy moved above the levels required for teleportation.

Thor jumped from his horse and moved to Loki. He walked past Heimdall and punched the ice, cracking it a bit. It started to crumble and Heimdall slumped to the ground. "Loki, stop this!" Thor pleaded.

"NO, they need to die, all of them!" Loki yelled. The room was cold and a blue glow laminated Loki's tears of anger. "You are just as much to blame!" Loki shot a beam from the casket towards Thor, but he jumped out of the way.

"Brother please! Let me help you!"

"I am not your brother!" Loki fired another bolt at him. "I never was!" Loki rubbed his arm across his face to wipe his tears. Thor swiftly took advantage and grabbed him. Loki clenched his fists and became colder. Thor resisted as long as he could. He was in pain but he knew he had to stop him. Thor head butted Loki and the magic stopped. Loki fell back to the floor and Thor punched him.

He walked over to Heimdall and helped him to his horse and smacked it's rump so it would run back to help. Thor walked back to Loki lying sideways on the floor. "Loki please, stop this, you know we love you." Loki spun over and out stretched his arm, shooting a blast at Thor's chest, sending him across the room.

"Liar!" he yelled.

Thor got up slowly. He held out his hand and Mjolnir returned to him. The All-father let it go. He sent a blast at Loki then another into the ice tree. The tree cracked but it was going to take more to stop it overloading the Bifrost. Loki held the casket of winters and fired it at Thor. He immediately sent a lightning bolt at the blast and they began to arm wrestle in magic. Thor stepped forwards, both hands on his hammer. Using all his strength.

Loki struggled and Thor's power disarmed him. The casket fell from Loki's hands and Thor stood over him. He grabbed Loki with one strong arm grasping the collar of his cuirass. He swung Mjolnir and broke the tree, shattering ice in the room, the Bifrost receded and the observatory slowed in its spinning. Thor dragged Loki from the controls. He gripped Thor's wrist with both his hands, trying to pry his hand off him.

Thor dropped his hammer and slapped Loki hard across the face. "You are so ungrateful and unappreciative of what people do for you!" Loki looked shocked, he may have been younger, but he was more mature than Thor.

"Ungrateful? Thor you have had everything handed to you!" Thor let him go. "You weren't not the one living a lie!" Loki wanted to storm off but he had to make his point. "I have always been in your shadow, even before I knew I would never be allowed to be king of Asgard!"

"Our father said we could both be kings.."

Your father! Not mine." Loki moved close to show his hatred. "Enlighten me Thor, you knew my secret when he said that, what realm was I mean to be king of, huh?" Loki chest poked Thor. "Odin would never let anyone who wasn't his blood sit on the throne here, and I hope you don't expect I could sit on the throne of Jotunheim, a realm I know nothing about, but purely cause I am some runt Frost Giant!"

"Loki, you don't understand.."

"What !? What don't I understand?" Loki smacked Thor, and he let him. "You know your place. I don't." Thor knew he had to calm him and he felt so bad for him having to go through this. He pulled him in close with one hand around his waist and the other cupping the back of his head, softly running his fingers through his hair. Thor then leant him over partially and kissed him deeply.

Loki resited but then succumbed. He wanted to be loved, and he knew that Thor would love him despite all his flaws. Loki held Thor's biceps and held on tight as he was drawn into the kiss. He slid his hands up around Thor's neck and they stood back upright for a second. They broke off the kiss and Loki for some reason, instantly forgave Thor. He could see it in his eyes.

Thor held out his hand to Mjolnir and spun up. They took off and flew back to the palace. Thor walked Loki back towards his room. The path was blocked. Odin stood before them with arms crossed. Thor pulled Loki closer, defending him. "Thor, stand aside of that criminal."

"Loki did nothing wrong!"

"I will deal with your complicity after I deal with him." Odin readied Gungnir.

"He's your son! Not "him or it!" Thor stood in front of Loki arms outstretched. "How did you think he would react when you eventually told him? What , you were just going to wait till your death bed? When Father?!" Thor felt Loki grasping at his cape. "He's my brother and I love him and will protect him!"

"He is not your brother, and the love you claim you have is unnatural and he has corrupted you with his magic."

Thor fired a blast at Odin as he yelled. "No!"

Odin deflected the blast. And was ready to fire back when Loki ran in front to stop him. "Stop this fighting!" Odin squinted his eyes cruelly and then fired his blast directly at Loki. Thor yelled as Loki fell to the floor. He wasn't moving.

"Father! What have you done?" Thor scooped Loki up into his arms. Frigga came into the hallway to see the commotion. She saw Loki, lying lifeless. "Mother!" Thor pleaded to her. "Father killed Loki!" Thor was distraught. He didn't know what to do. He carried Loki over to her. Her eyes filled with tears as she softly stroked his raven hair and pale face.

"Take him inside." Frigga directed Thor to his bedroom. Thor could not clearly see as tears streamed down his face. He placed him on his bed and knelt down beside him, gripping one of his hands. "Thor, I will try, but this may be even beyond my magic." She held her hands over his body and tried to heal him. Loki slowly opened his eyes.

Thor grabbed him like a doll and hugged him, then kissed him. Frigga blushed and tried to lighten the mood. "I've never seen you kiss Sif like that." Thor broke off the kiss then thanked his mother for saving Loki.

_____

Loki looked up at Thor. He then rolled away. He didn't want to look at him. Thor put his hand on him and pulled him back to him.

"Loki, what is wrong?"

"Thor, I can't do this." Loki sat up slowly. "I don't love you they way you love me." Loki stood up and slowly made his way to the door. He then disappeared.

Thor looked to Odin. "Where has he gone? Tell me father!"

"He is moved down through the palace." Odin said softly.

"Where is he going?"

Odin didn't want to say but the stairs from his family were going to sway him. "He's going to the Bifrost."

____

Loki stood looking into space. He hadn't activated the controls yet. He didn't know where he wanted to go. He didn't know what realm he could go to. Thor landed behind him, Frigga was with him.

"Hey! How can you say that? How could you say you don't know this love? I felt you when we kissed, you want this as much as me!" Thor grabbed him and tried to kiss him. Loki shoved him away.

"No!" Loki wiped the tears from his face. "I reciprocated because I thought it was what I wanted. I don't feel that way, Thor, I just don't love you will my whole self."

Loki could see Thor didn't quite get him. He sighed. He put his hand on Thor's shoulder. "Thor, I don't want to be intimate with you. I don't know who I am. You have had your whole life to know who you were and what you desired. I am just learning who I am and I am not ready to take such a big step."

"Loki I will be here for you. I love you and I will take my time if you want me to. I will wait centuries if you want me to." Thor did want Loki to leave.

"I have called you brother for over 1000 years, it is not something I cannot change overnight. I don't call you brother anymore, but I still see you when I close my eyes. Please, let me find myself." Loki looked over to Frigga. He smiled weakly at her. "I'm sorry that I want the boy you hoped for."

She walked to him and went to hug him. "Loki I love you for who you are, we all did."

Loki refused her affection and turned away holding back his tears. "Would you loved me different if I knew that I was not your child from the get go?" he wiped the tears from his face. They were now flowing fast. She reached over and took his cheek in her hand.

"Yes. I would have treated you the same. I would have loved you the same." Loki looked to her sad smile, he knew she was telling the truth. "I also know you need to leave. But when you feel ready, you come back to us, you will be welcomed with open arms."

Loki looked back in to space. He stood on the edge and marvelled at the peace and quiet of space. The gas nebula draped across the stars. He hugged himself and lowered his head. He took a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling. He relaxed his arms and held them out from his sides. "Good bye Thor. Good bye Frigga." He walked forward and stepped off the observatory and fell with outstretched arms.

Hoping the universe would return the embrace. He opened his eyes to see the light surround him he did not hear the panicked voices called to him. He smiled and closed his eyes as he felt warm and safe. The darkness took him.


End file.
